Thursday, April 30, 2009

Name them one by one.

Its the first of may 2009. Who am I? Where am I? When did it get to be May 2009? I feel like some sort of amnesia patient that cannot be convinced that this is actually the date. I would say to show me a newspaper to prove the date to me, but do they even still exist? The name of this blog doesn't seem to be any less fitting. The times are changing, and they always will. I'm finding existence alone to be exhausting, much less doing anything with said existence. Trying to wrap my brain around everything takes as much energy as I've got, and then some. Not to mention I work a job that I'm on my feet all day dealing with the wants of others. Woe is me.
Not really, the truth is I'm grateful I have a job to hate. I hate it with all my guts, and I feel so blessed. I'm blessed I don't have Swine Flu. I'm blessed that I don't have to worry about roadside bombs on my way to work. I'm blessed to understand that changes will bring about glory. I'm blessed with a beautiful and loving family, hilarious and crazy friends, the best dog on the planet, kick ass roommates, a beautiful home, an amazing neighborhood, a decent public transit system, fruit roll ups, grape soda, milk. (The last bit was just a grocery list.)
The point is, who cares if I can't fathom anything? Life isn't meant to understand, and as long as I count my many blessings I believe there will be more in store.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Boss of East Afghanistan.

Yesterday my roommates and I went to The Coffee Garden to use the internet machine and whatnot. While there my roommate Brooke informed Jonathan and myself that she had a date later that night with the boss of east Afghanistan. Immediately we questioned what she meant by "the boss of east Afghanistan," Her response," Or west, I can't remember." She never could explain what she meant by that, and she ended up ditching the guy. I thought I was so close to meeting the boss of east Afghanistan, now I guess I never will. Also, if you have a date with someone who you think carries such a title, is it a good idea to blow them off? I mean, he is The Boss of East Afghanistan for heavens sake.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Golden Years.

I turned 80 this year. Pretty big milestone. I'm actually 22, but come on...there's no way. I'm definitely 80. Twenty-two year olds don't do Sudoku in a rocking chair while listening to Miles Davis. The truth is I admire and respect the hell out of old people. They're the best, even the crotchety ones. I've always wanted to be old. To be wise, and well learned. To move at a slower pace and appreciate the time I've been given. I was doing the math, and I found out I will technically turn 80 in the year 2067. This is unacceptable for two reasons; I don't want to wait that long, and there's no way that year exsists. Its just not possible. There are too many obstacles our society would need to hurdle to make it there. I want to believe we can, and we could if people were willing to make sacrifices. Take cruise ships for example. It takes one gallon of fuel to move a cruise ship one foot, and those suckers go far. There's no way our country will ever sacrifice singing drunken karaoke at sea in order to pull us out of an oil war, or save the climate. (hate to be a Debbie Downer, but its true.) Thus, I decided I shall be 80 now. Life is for the living, and I choose to do mine as a senior citizen. I don't get the discounts or the privleged parking, but I also have a fully functioning body. Its a trade off. My favorite thing about turning 80 has been my new found appreciation for hard candies. They're low-cal and keep you busy.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Blue Peni.

I saw The Watchmen last night, the midnight showing. Correction, I saw half of The Watchmen last night. I walked out of it. I NEVER do that. I even sat through Twilight. Watchmen, however, I could not do. It was well acted, written, and had a great story. I did not want to see a glowing blue penis multiple times throughout the movie. I did not want to see a pregnant woman get shot. I did not want to see a child bite off a mans cheek, and I did not want to see a horrendous scene of domestic violence and pre-rape. I saw all of those things in the first half of the movie (one and a half hours) so I walked out. The thing that most disturbed me about the film, is that no one else was disturbed by it (except Liz) At the domestic violence scence I booed, because I thought it was in poor taste. There was no reason it should have been that graphic. A Woman turned around and scowled at me for interrupting her so called entertainment. A WOMAN was irritated that I booed because I thought it insulted everything I thought our generation didn't stand for. Sorry to have offended you miss. I know its probably number one at the box office, and I know I'm going to be hearing how great it is from every Harry, Mark, and John. But I believe its one of the most evil things I've ever come across. People may say that its just a movie and that is true, but the movie was a commentary on our society as a whole and therefore it means more than that. I wish it never happened.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My Bobs.

I'm using this post to explain the title of my blog. The Times They Are A Changin'. I don't know anyone who wouldn't agree. They certainly are. For those of you who don't know, its the title of a Bob Dylan song. His music is so appropriate for our world today. The lyrics are insightful, and at times infuriating; that he was able to point out these things within our society forty some odd years ago, they continued to exsist, and now many of our country's issues are because of these ignored problems that this man was able to see so long ago. The thing about Bob Dylan is he identifies problems, but his music doesn't really come up with solutions and they don't really encourage hope. For that, you must seek another Bob's music. Marley. His messages about peace, love, and appreciating life for the true beauty it holds are epic. I know he was a Jamaican stoner and all, but he knows whats up. The thing I like about listening to The Bobs is, as Dylan can come up with all of these different issues, Marley can solve all of them with his message. His message is that of every religous and spiritual diety. Love. It really can solve all our problems, and I believe that it will someday. For the times they are a changin' and I believe the change is for the better.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hail to the Bus Driver.

My momma is a school bus driver. She started driving the school bus when she was pregnant with me. This means I was basically raised on a school bus. My mom tried to make me go to day care, but I refused to take naps as a child, and you have to take naps at daycare. I can't believe there was a point in my life that I refused naps. People change. So, with no daycare provider I rode the school bus with my mom almost every day until kindergarten. Then, for a year or so, she was my bus driver. After we moved to Layton I went to year round school, so I was on the bus everyday when I was off track. The best was when my mom would drive to field trips and take me with her. I've been on a lot of field trips. Sometimes she would even make sure she was the driver for my classes field trips. My favorite field trip location is the local planetarium.
When I was five or so we went on a cross country family trip to pick up a brand new school bus from the Blue Bird factory in Atlanta. Its one of the only family vacation memories I have. And the memories are all in a school bus. Like Megan holding her neon hair colored troll out the window in Tennessee and letting the southern wind blow through its synthetic hair. Or when I thought I really had to poop and made my mom pull over on the side of a farm, I pushed and pushed and produced only a chocolate chip sized turd. My dad was mad. I'm sure that road trip was horrendous, because school busses are not comfortable. But I remember it being fun. I think I knew then that most families don't have the bonding experience of hauling ass across the country in a six ton yellow school bus, just the five of us.
Today I went on the school bus with my mom for the first time in years. I filled up the fuel tank, I swept down the aisle, and we went through the bus wash. I don't know how many times that is for me, I've been doing it all my life. But more importantly, my mom has been doing it all my life. All 22 years of it, day in day out, waking up at the butt crack of dawn to get kids safely to school and back home again in order to provide for her family. She hates it now, who wouldn't? But I think the school bus was a nice place to raise a family.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Blurred Vision.

I lost my glasses... a year ago. I have only been wearing contact lenses for the past year. Its so bad, my eyes want to die. The trouble is glasses are expensive! Especially if you get the frames you like. So, I just buy the boxes of contacts for $17. Which is great aside for the fact that I am terribly blind. I can't see anything. One time a friend asked me to describe what I could see without correction, and my reply was; "Shapes and sizes." So I have to wear these contacts ALL OF THE TIME! I constantly have plastic suction cups gripping to my eyeballs, turning them into immigrants at Ellis Island (huddled masses yearning to breathe free.)
Anyhow, its gotten to the point where I've started doing what I call the forced blink. I go to blink, the contact stops the blink, I force the eyelid over the lens and complete a successful blink. Its astonishing. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I really need glasses and you should buy me some.